lydia - hailey with lyrics

Yeah, I got what I wanted

They bled out my organs

They cut me wide open till I grinned

Guess it’s time

Doctors came right in

Said he most likely won’t win

But who the hell am I?

Spent my life in the midwest

Hailey, if you’re out there

I wish you all the very best, dear

Yeah, got me away from there

And Hailey, if you’re out there

I hope you made it through December

Yeah, that seems like such a blur

It was always the same shit

At that damn apartment

Yeah baseline took its toll, took its toll

It’s my fault

She loved those nights when

We’d breathe up that black air

Yeah, come on tell me how, tell me how

I’m not underground

Hailey, if you’re out there

I wish you all the very best, dear

Yeah, got me away from there

And Hailey, if you’re out there

I hope you made it through December

Yeah, that seems like such a blur

Wretchedness of love

The wretchedness lives in my heart forever
Contentment is just for one moment
As I look into your depressing eyes
I only saw odium burning fiercely in it.

Love is for fragile people
Once you be keen on someone
It will be very hard to disregard
Why do love that I feel for you?

Even the night turns to day
I’m still thinking of you…
People say that I am not fit for
A beautiful angel like you…

So let it be…
Even if the reality hurts me..
I will still love you…
Even if you does not know..

If I sleep I will think of you
And only you is in my mind
And my wish went I wake up
Is to have a happy ending with you…

An angel like you…
Is very hard to come by..
But why do you have to come into my life?
Thinking of you, is just making my life worst day after day..

Every time I try to forget you
The picture of you still playing in my mind…
Is this what you call love?
Is this the feeling when you start to fall in love with someone?

People laugh went I say I’m in love
It’s a lie they say..
It’s a joke for them..
It just making me even hates love…

This is how I feel about love.
Love is precious for someone…
But not for me…
For me love is dreadful, it all a recline,

I’m afraid to fall in love
I’m afraid that I will break someone’s heart,
I hate to see other people hurt
Just because what I did to them..

I odium to see moan of the person that I love
Falls to the ground..
Having a broken heart is agonizing..
It’s painful….

So in the end..
There’s no happy ending for me..
I and myself is happy
And that’s all I want….

So I will throw the feeling
That I once have for you
And I will try to forget you
Even it takes a hundred year

*the first thing i ever wrote..this is from a 2006 i think..can't really remember..

Bruno Mars - count on me

Awesome song.

if only i.. part 2

To be honest, my life...isn't that great.. I don't consider..it as good either...my life...is like a piece of trash...waiting to be thrown away.. I'm not..capable on keeping my life as i want it to be. Half of my life is only fantasy...something that i made up each and everytime i think. Reality is just a side effect..from my fantasy. Imagination is my only friend. Where ever i go..it will acompany me. I'm only happy in fantasy...in reality i'm just a boring person to talk to..

if only..i..

I always wonder..if i were never been born in this world, or maybe i was born as a bird..i.might have fly all..over the world.. I just might...die...or be killed by hunters..or stuck in a trap somewhere..who knows..but..i'm just wondering..i'm lucky to have such a bless life. Wonderful mom. She's the greatest. My big brother..hmm..not sure about him..hehehe..n my lovely little sister..she's always on my mind.. I always worried about her. But sometimes i do feel down about myself. I feel like i'm useless in my family. I can't even help them..

to be continue..

regret

To think
It was the last time I saw you
I knew you were fading
I saw the pain etched on your face
Though you tried to hide it
And yet you were optimistic
You lived a full life
You were ready to pass on

I was distant that day
I didn’t want to get too close
Only to have you taken away

Your time had come and you went peacefully
I shed no tears
Your pain was finally gone
And yet the emptiness is unbearable
Why am I so cold
Even to the ones I love
How selfish to be so afraid of the pain of loss
That I don’t want to get close to you
Even on your death bed
I’d rather stay in my own world
Pretend it’s not happening
Pretend I’ll see you again
That you’ll somehow pull through
Even though the doctors sadly shook their head

You accepted your fate, why can’t I?
Because it’s not fair
Why you?
You’re so innocent
You don’t deserve this
I can’t accept it
Because I love you
Because I cannot imagine life without you

Now, after all those years
I realize it’s better to savor the moment
Knowing it will not last
Than to let it pass

But it’s too late now
Because that was the time I saw you
For the last time

in love

The way I blush when I think of you,
The way I smile when I remember your words-
The way I almost wanna pass out when someone mentions you-
The way I wanna go to bed early,
Just so I can dream of you-


The way I wanna hold your hand,
The way I write your name on my schoolpapers-
The way I wish I shared every class with you,
The way my heart beats faster,
And the way I feel when I imagine you with me-


I'm just like every other girl,
Who's ever wanted to be held by someone else-
And I'm just like every story,
Hoping for a love-filled ending-


Because I'm human too,
And I somehow still feel-
After all I've been through,
I still feel love-


So we look like Sid and Nancy,
Walking together hand-in-hand-
And I couldn't have been happier,
The night we met-


Already sharing our life stories,
I'm not alone anymore-
And I love you,
And you love me too...

is it love?

If I hugged you,
would you never let go?

If I kissed you,
would you cherish that moment?

If I reached for your hand,
would you take mine gently?

If I needed a shoulder,
would you let me cry on yours?

If I needed to talk,
would you really listen?

If I needed to scream,
would you do it with me?

If I needed to go,
would you come with me?

If I fell for you,
would you catch me?
or just let me hit the pavement?

eyes sets to kill

Went i look at a girl, my focus is only on her eyes. I don't know why, maybe its because the eyes showed the true side if that person for me, i'm not sure about others.. Went you talk to someone, you look at their eyes rite? For sure you won't look at the mouth. Cause if the person that you are talking at, looks away. Thats mean, he or she must be keeping a secret from you.

follow me

follow me on twitter..

@boredhuan


:P

atas dasar kawan

hari tu..aku nie..punya la baik hati..nk tolong member aku buat bisnes... Ader la hamba allah tu. dia nak buat bisnes fiber, ok la aku tolong..sebab aku pun xbekerja. dia janji dekat aku macam2.. aku ye kan ajer..sebab pikir member... aku sanggup tdo dekat rumah dia hari2...siap bersih kan lagi..pergh..memang baik hati la aku ni... aku xmintak apa2 pun. dia cuma janji nk bayar aku...kalau aku tolong siap kan set2 fiber..ok la. tapi hari tu..ada la hal..pulak....member aku nie..gaduh dgn member aku sorg nie... tiba2 plak..jd perang besar...damn. aku pulak jd org tgh...dua2 pun member aku..so nk di jadi kan citer..member aku yg sorang lg nie...ajak la aku...keje dgn dia...aku ok jer..janji aku ader keje...sudah. xkisah la keje ape..janji halal. so skang nie..aku dh keje dgn member aku...pulak ada citer yg xbest plak. member aku yg buat bisnes fiber tu ada buat hal..dgn member2 aku yg lain. pasal duit..la..aku pun x amik port sgt..yg xbest nye...nama aku up pulak..damn it.. dia boleh citer kat org yg aku nie...xreti buat kerja..la...itu la , ini la.. yg paling buat aku sedih...dia ckp aku mintak duit dekat dia hari2...bila masa pulak. aku kalau xde duit pun aku diam je. dh la aku menumpang dekat rumah dia..lepas tu..dia ckp mcm nie pulak..sedih giler aku...dia buat aku nie..mcm org mintak sedekah pulak...citer nie pun aku dpt tau dari org yg gaduh dgn member aku nie.. xpe la...dh nasib org nk buat aku mcm nie..aku xkisah pun...dh biasa... Xpe la..satu hari nanti dia terima balasan..yg penting...aku happy dgn keje aku skang nie..biar la kena redah lumpur ke..panjat..bangunan ke..janji..aku happy..hmmm

nice song..

loser

aku rasa down gila hari nie..rasa cam bodoh jer..umur dh 27...apa pun xde..member2 aku semua dh happy dh dgn life diorg..ader yg dh kawin..ada dh ada anak..aku..nie..habuk pun xde..malu siot..org lain kerja bagus2..aku nie..keje..pun..xtetap...nie pun...member aku yg tarik aku keje dgn dia.. memang pening skit la keje dia...tapi..ader future.. entah la..aku takut..future aku.. je yg xde...agak nye..nie la..dia contoh loser..aku..huan. i hate myself...for not trying hard enough. i should have everything i wanted in front of me..but no..i keep fucking it all up...damn..

me

As i sit..here..alone..thinking..about..my life..there's nothing. Future..as i know it..gone..time's ticking...days...changes..as i sleep...no more...smile..for me..just sadness..n sorrow...once..there was a time went..i have everything..now..i only have..my soul..n pride...wish..the..wave..can swept me away..drowning me..in the deep dark sea...

facts about me

Facts about me.

1. I'm 26..years old.
2. I don't have..my own transportation.
3. I just got a new job (keje dekat tapak construction..xlama lagi gelap la aku..huhu)
4. I don't have life insurance...
5. No savings in my bank.
6. No girlfriend.

To sums up everything about me is..i'm a LOSER. Haha..n i still find it funny.

i dream about her..

Last night..i felt..a little bit..happy..cause..i called her..it's been awhile..seens i hear a voice..feels like all my problem..gone..for a second..n thats enough for me. Would like to call her again...but..i'm afraid i might..disturb her..so..i guess i called her again one day.. i just want to wish her..the best..in life.. 7/12/11

my dark future...

i'm still wondering what am i going to be...in the future...with no money...no girlfriend...no jobs..i feel like..i'm fading away...the future seems dark for me. i always thought that i can be more active in my life pursuing something that can make me happy, but i guess not..maybe i will die alone...n know one will remember me..not even my name. they will be like "who's huan? never heard of him before". but it's the future i'm talking about rite. you don't know what will happen to you to rite. so i better just go with the flow..and hopefully i fill up my empty spaces with things that i love. putting colors on a white canvas. it's "LIVE OR DIE" for me.